1) too lazy
b) too paranoid that someone I actually, like, know will read this crap (I love how important I pretend to be)
or III) ... I don't really have a third reason.
See?? I haven't even written ten sentences and I'm already bored with myself. This could end in tragedy. Regardless, I've been getting that oh-so-familiar itch to
I guess I should begin how most good writers begin and introduce myself to an audience that doesn't actually exist yet. At least that way I know I am safe from judgement. Har dee har har.
The name's Sarah. My last name and the names of other parties in my life will probably remain secret because, again, I fear that somebody might actually read this drivel and discover I have some horrible dark secret- like the fact that I have a very, very deep love of corn dogs. I recently married a man who I have known was my soul mate since the day I met him. Let's just call him Russ. We live in a tiny little apartment with two - soon to be three, we hope- dogs and an array of fish, snails, and frogs. I work in customer care for Big Unnamed Company and I truly believe it is sucking the soul out of me on a daily basis. I hate it with a passion. The good news? My husband is currently unemployed because I don't know if y'all have noticed this or not but our economy pretty much blows big donkey chunks. Oh. Is that not usually considered good news? Crap. Ok. Well what about the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic and doing so extremely well I would totally buy him a pony as a present if he was into that sort of thing? Yeah. That falls under the "good news" category quite a bit better. As a couple we're terrible with money and are lucky to have $5 in our bank account at any given time. Right now? It's somewhere in the negative. From what Russ tells me this actually isn't our fault for once so I'm taking the mature approach by letting him deal with the bank while I eat corn dogs and avoid logging into our bank's website like the plague.
As for me, I enjoy things like double gulps from 7/11 filled to the brim with cherry vanilla cherry coke (not a mistype. Our local 7/11 has extra syrup you can put into the soda. That is flavored. And free. And have I mentioned local? As in... right across the street?) , camping, reading, being as obnoxious as I can to my husband just to see how he reacts, our dogs, ranch dressing, cheeseburgers, barbecuing, large stuffed animals, purses, corn dogs, and cell phones. I am not ashamed to admit the last three are bordering on a slight obsession. I consider it a productive trip to WalMart or Target if I do not leave with another unnecessary $15 purse. As we speak -- er, type -- I have over a thousand dollars worth of cell phones sitting in front of me. Granted, they're all paid for and have been for quite some time now but when I came home with the last one Russ turned a very strange shade of purple. So I'm trying very, very hard to stay away from Big Unnamed Companys website as well because their employee discount is just a little too tempting. If you're wondering-- the last one was a shiny new Blackberry. And oh how I love her. And yes, she is my fourth (4th) Blackberry. He just doesn't understand I needed this one because it was different and better and whinewhydontyoulovemeenoughicannevergetwhatiwantpleasedontbemadiloveyouuuuuu. I will never admit this to him but a part of me thinks he's a saint for putting up with me.
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